Ask HN: I don't think I want to work in tech anymore?

I can share a personal account - I became disillusioned with the tech industry too, and decided I didn't want anything to do with it anymore. The difference is, I never even got my first job, so I can't speak as if I know everything, but I can attest to my own experiences.

I never considered other roles because of sunk cost fallacy. Developing an interest from a kid, going to school and college for 6+ years. With post-graduate unemployment lengthening by the day, I spiralled further.

I doomscrolled online, seeing others in similar situations get lambasted, and internalized how worthless I was, that I wasn't trying hard enough, and didn't have what it took to make it. Yet I did all I could and knew, put all of myself out there - so what was left?

Conversely, if I gave up, I was weak. If I worked in any other industry, that stat would come up about how "being underemployed in another field would lock you out of the industry for good." - I'd be considered stale bread.

My life's work would've been for nothing, so I handcuffed myself to joining the industry, and that's how months became a year, a year became two years without finding employment.

Some treatment is despicable. In the very first interview I had, I was laughed at. I was socially inept then, but that still didn't warrant mockery. Dehumanizing tests where I was observed silently, like a hawk. Months of waiting, after 4 rounds, only to be ghosted. Literally being rated and told I'm a "2" to my face by an interviewer.

When I finally decided to give up on my life's ambition and applied for a retail job, I got an interview within a day and was hired the next. I was able to learn quickly and get promoted to a lead within 3 months.

I worked with so many good people, and even if some customers and severe understaffing suck, finally finding a place where I feel valued saved me from offing myself.

Obviously, there's a lower barrier to entry. But ironically, I was always fed the notion that these were "low skill" jobs where I'd be miserable and abused. That's not what happened - it's the tech industry that drove me to want to die every day for years, even a self-inflicted head injury. And it's in retail where I developed myself further than ever, even with the bad aspects.

With my passion killed before even starting, I cannot imagine how I'd feel actually working. I'm aware it's more "who you work with," but with 8/10 interactions going poorly, and trauma from just thinking about it, I decided the industry's not worth the gamble for me.

I became interested in software as a means to solve my problems. That was why I started. But I realized I can still achieve what I want without prospects of a career ruining what I once cared for. Now, I get my fill through volunteering for nonprofit organizations and building my own ideas.

Looking for a new job, I found some roles that interested me. Deckhand, working on a boat. Car mechanic.

Some offered training with no experience, and seemed to pay decently, if not equivalently to entry-level tech, without the judgment and hoops. I've found interest in these more physical jobs, as they keep me healthy too.

Long story short - I think it's best to do what's best for yourself, within possibility. Whether that's continuing to explore software engineering in another light (Nonprofits, maybe? https://techjobsforgood.com/), or a whole new field. Life's too short to live proving oneself to someone else who doesn't even know you.

I've found that common online discourse tends to convince one to ignore problems and put up with abuse, just because someone else has it worse and "giving up" is weak. But screw what others may think about "privilege" - overwork is an issue... among many others, regardless of relativistic betterness. "Giving up" on the mainstream idea of success actually might've been the best thing to achieve what I wanted. Do you still like tech as a passion? Is there anything you've looked into that might interest you?

If you work for an actual software company that actually sells software as their primary business this advise is not for you.

Corporate software completely sucks. There is a greater than 70% chance you support some side of a crud app and most of your peers have some level of imposter syndrome but mask their obvious insecurity with aggressive or vanity nonsense.

The best thing that ever happened to me was getting laid off from the nonsense. Now I am a defense contractor. My peers are much older. There is an explicit path, for the most part, to release software. People are well trained and actually do real work instead of praying they can pretend to be relevant behind some framework.

Now my advice to everyone is the same: find the jobs with the highest barrier of entry. This is completely orthogonal to compensation. High barriers of entry drastically reduce the signal to noise ration in hiring.

> I feel like I’m a failure

You are being failed, you are not a failure. This is not a privileged career, it is a (relative to other careers) lucrative one - some within it are privileged, they make bay area housing money, have ownership and stock. FAANG roles, where the most privileged or most prepared to succeed often land, are remarkably stable compared to your experience - such that a layoff is huge news and not just another tuesday like elsewhere in the industry. Many who speak about software development are in this position, and they know nothing else.

The contract game is not a privileged game - it is a working class job, where often people live near paycheck to paycheck renting in HCOL areas. For folks on contracts or at low or mid tier companies with mid tier pay, the work is more often than not tightly managed, low trust environments. You get "butts-in-seats" managers, you get "kiss-the-ring" leadership, you get micromanaged, you get no agency, and you don't get basic human respect. You are your output, and your output needs to meet near-arbitrary expectations regardless of your capacity. If you are sick because of the stress working at a place, they will move onto the next person.

This is not the reality for most of the optimistic high risk tolerance (IE: safe and privileged) people on Hacker News, but it is the reality for a huge amount of SWEs. Privilege is relative in this industry and it broadly follows the same lines. Those who already have a lot will be safe, and those with little have to work 3x as hard to have a chance at parity.

That isn't to say that one can't rock out, become extremely well respected, make a lot of money, do a startup, or get recognized from skills - the industry does an okay job at not being entirely credential focused, though its gotten far more so in the last 5 years.

Sure, tech is a relatively privileged career. Doesn't mean "Corporate hellhole" isn't a thing though ;). So don't feel guilty. :) The 50-60% pay cut far less stress jobs DO exist, but more in the public sector e:g government, academia. Even being a IT tech for a high school or something might be fine if you've nice people to work with and never get told "m'kay, yeah I'm gonna need you to come in on sunday, too". (or at least not without a day off in lieu in the week). Consider also, go be a ski bum in a McJob at a ski resort for a season or two. That's a break from tech, nice change of scene and fun times, but you still get paid something, so, maybe don't build up debts meanwhile. The Q then is can you get back into tech later after such a break, if you want. Which maybe depends on a few unpredictable factors. Back in the day I did that and many others here on HN have. Good luck :)