Why a 'boring' Life Might Be the Happiest One

Turned 50 recently and I have come to the same conclusion. I just want to live a simply life with simple joys.

However that would only be possible because I've been working and saving since I was 15 years old.

I find myself always struggling between being ambitious and being happy.

Ideally I'd like to be both. But when one gets on the "ambitious" treadmill, capitalism wants one to work 24/7/365. Your competition is showing off how they worked until 4am, worked through the holidays, launched products on Sunday, and slept in the office, as "dedication". That culture makes me unhappy because I lose my physical health and mental health doing that. I'm happy and do my best work when I can go home, cook creative dinners, enjoy company of my partner, and enjoy the sunrises and sunsets in the mountains on the weekends.

I'm not sure if a 'Boring Life' is for me. But I am sure I need some seasons of my life to be boring.

Since I was 20 I've grinded away at my career, side hustles, etc... It made me happy. But at a certain point I got far enough ahead I felt complete. I needed a boring phase.

I now wake up, have breakfast with my family, go to work, come home, play with my kids, watch a show, and go to bed. This is a day I would have scoffed at 10 years ago. But it now makes me happy. I don't think it would make me happy if I hadn't went for something the last 15.

And it might not make me happy forever, but it's perfect for me right now.

> I feel the world has become too fast. Too restless. Too demanding. We don’t say it, but there’s always this quiet pressure we all feel. A pressure to know all the latest trends. The latest fashion. The latest tech. A pressure that creates a subtle fear inside our hearts.

I agree with the general premise, just not the details like the above.

Long before trends, fashions, tech entered my life, I became acutely aware of my brevity in this (likely one and only) life. That has been pressure enough, coming from within, to make the most of it.

I guess I have not yet been able to shake that. There are things, like fishing for example, that I suspect I might enjoy. But I see feel the time for fishing is when I am too old to do other things.

FWIW, I am retired now and spend my days working on one project or another (or several).

Perhaps I am not enjoying life as much as I could be … if I could just shake off the anxiety that the sand is running through the hourglass.

My cats sure seem to not care a wit.

> Just watching the film made me feel so calm. Like the film itself gave me a warm hug and whispered: “It’s okay to live a slow boring life”.

Maybe it’s me but the only reason you can fall in love with the life of a Japanese toilet cleaner is because either the Japanese society allows someone in that profession to be at peace or the movie leaves out significant parts of life that impact your inner peace. Coming from a place where worrying about arranging even a small amount of money in a short amount of time for a medical emergency could ruin your peace for years, I think all of what’s mentioned in the article is possible only after your basic needs are taken care of.

I really like the ideas presented. I hope more people can find happiness like this.

Aside - For some reason I can't stand the writing style but also strongly feel that this opinion is completely wrong and this intense dissonance is a very very bizarre feeling.

Thanks for sharing :)

The idea of slowing down and finding joy in small routines assumes you've already escaped the constant anxiety of bills. It’s hard to be at peace when your baseline reality is a few paychecks away from chaos.

There’s a quiet cruelty in how modern economies make stability feel like a luxury. Owning a home, having savings, or even time to be bored used to be normal milestones, now they are privileges. Until the basics are within reach again, the “boring” life will remain a fantasy for many who’d give anything for that kind of peace.

Most of us here work in tech and make six figures, but not everyone has that luxury.

> you don’t have to follow the herd

meanwhile, OP's entire substack post denouncing hustle culture is about plugging his viral tweet and his ebook

"Plunge into the world, and then, after a time, when you have suffered and enjoyed all that is in it, will renunciation come; then will calmness come. So fulfil your desire for power and everything else, and after you have fulfilled the desire, will come the time when you will know that they are all very little things; but until you have fulfilled this desire, until you have passed through that activity, it is impossible for you to come to the state of calmness, serenity, and self-surrender." -Swami Vivekananda

When I was in my 20s and early 30s I read that and scoffed because I was hustling, building my career and company. But over the last few years, I realize all that hustling just leads to an empty shell of a life. I just want a simple life where I spend a lot of time with my wife, son and family.

One really interesting aspect I have noticed -

As I have gotten older there are an increasing amount of things I'm not interested in, don't think about, or don't care about anymore.

Music. The latest hits have no appeal to me. It's just noise. I caught myself thinking, "What is this crap these days.". This 100% reminded me of my parents that no longer had interest in listening to the radio, which I thought was really weird and "uncool" as a kid.

Work Topics. I would be in the middle of every e-mail or work topic with great interest. Now, I just file certain e-mails away with never reading them. For the first time in my life I'm that person that can be reminded, "Didn't you read the e-mail that was sent out".

There are other examples, but you get the idea. As you get older certain things just fade away and only certain things occupy your mind. It may not mirror this article, but it's similar. What you enjoy or matters most tends to take focus as you get older, whether you realize it or now.

"When I was a kid, science fiction was off in the future somewhere. . . now it’s kind of science fact. . . AI and social media and all these influences are driving progress so quickly, at a pace that I think many of us, as human beings, are having a hard time keeping up with."

This is a quote from Alex Proyas (director of Dark City, irobot, the crow etc), he has long observed that humans are biologically under-adapted for a modernity of silicon-fueld complexity

https://www.starburstmagazine.com/features/alex-proyas-dark-...

“Choose boring tech” is a good parallel that has repeatedly worked out for me over the decades.

Spoiler: Hero of Perfect Days film lives alone, feels lonely and fight with sadness.

I loved this movie, and I appreciate the overall premise of the letter -- simplicity can be freeing, because it allows you time to breathe and discover what really fulfills you. That said, I will never have just 3 hobbies. That's not who I am. I did, through the clarity of the pandemic, learn that there is more to life than money and climbing the career ladder. I don't know that I would have learned that without that time to be alone with my own self trying to find ways to be fulfilled in a time where my job at the time wholeheartedly sucked.

This has to be personality-dependent, as with so many other aspects of human existence; a cozy quiet little life is not what I want at all.

I do like the author's point about "it's ok to miss out", though. You're going to miss most of life anyway, whatever you do, so as long as you found a path through life that felt full as you were walking it, what's the difference which one it was?

This flavor of "FOMO" is new and tuned for capitalism/materialism, hence everyone wants to be go to trendy restaurants/travel/airbnb lifestyle.

But before "FOMO" used to be religious, more like "FOGTH", or fear of going to hell.

So people were mostly happy living simple, sweet lives. Spend time with family. Raise your children. Have a simple job. Just don't go to hell, so go to church, pray, don't sin. Everything will be great, as long as you don't go to hell.

Probably in like the 60s did consumerism become the mainstream religion and it's been taking over since. Now you *must* make more money to: buy a house, take a fancy vacation, live a luxurious retirement, etc.

The cringe "hustle culture" of today is because for some people, it's their spiritual fulfillment. It is their religion. Their main focal point of existence is to buy bigger, buy better. It's almost taboo to consider an early retirement, "omg, I'd get so bored! I'd go crazy!"

How dare you not follow my religion of selling B2B SaaS? You are not a go-getter, and I am. Did I mention I also have a podcast?

Hard agree! The challenge as you get older is reducing complexity so simple moments can be enjoyed, but it doesn't come easy.

You may not be interested in war, but war is interested in you.

Plus, not everyone has the privilege to put their feet up and sip green tea on a balcony to look at trees.

Beautiful writing, nonetheless. You do you, friend.

It’s a lot easier to be happy with a boring life if you’ve gone and lived an exciting one first.

The author mistakes introversion to do-little/nothing. Many introverts love socializing and being around friends, it’s just energy-depleting and takes (more) time to recharge.

That said, doing little or nothing is quite relaxing, especially on rainy days.

The author is just describing the transition to middle age. This has been the transition into one’s late 30s/40s throughout our current era. Why do you think people have midlife crises? It’s because they don’t want to regress to “boringness”.

Well written but I challenge the notion that this is a “new” problem.

> Instead, do things that are sustainable in the long-term. Things that don’t make you feel like you’re betraying yourself. Things that don’t feel forced.

As a counter-perspective, not saying you have, but me forcing myself to do things that are essentially the opposite of that (move to the other side of the world without any plan) basically changed my life for the better. It felt forced, a bit like betraying myself, and as an introvert, completely outside my comfort zone. Yet it was probably the best decision I've made in my life so far.

But again, it's OK to wanting to focus on sustainable, non-forced things too.

It’s only boring because are allowing yourself to be exposed to more stimulating options. It’s a game of comparing numbers. Just like cave man enjoy “boring” stuff, except they have no choice.

That janitor dude choose to not expose himself or maybe learn not to get reeled into the marketing of exciting things.

Some people reading this (systems engineers with a career) could probably retire, or at least downshift. Work just enough to pay for groceries, and spend your days doing what you actually want.

Today we can access, easily and cheaply (often free), almost every song ever recorded, every book ever written, every movie ever filmed, every video game ever made. You can write and reach thousands. You can film and reach millions. Twenty years ago, that was a millionaire’s life.

It’s the need for more and more and more that alienates us. Do you really need that shiny new car? Do you really need to take a vacation? Do you really need that promotion?

For some, work (and the status that comes with it) became their identity. Take it away and there’s nothing left. Others keep constant noise and stress around just to avoid hearing themselves think.

What if you chose a peaceful life?

I definitely am enjoying life more since we bought a small 16 acre farm/woods and I started growing vegetables/growing fruit and nut trees/foraging mushrooms and berries/beekeeping. I wouldn't call it boring. Always learning something new. Found 8 black walnut trees on the property and 3 pecan trees. Lots of hickory trees. 3 persimmon trees. Multiple red mulberry trees. I enjoy country life.